Christmas comes but once a year - so the cliché goes. Only it doesn't, does it? It comes every nine months, starting in the shops in September and lasting until January 1.

Now, some of you may feel the cockles of your traditionalist hearts warming up when you stroll down the still-summery high street in your sundress and see the holly and the Santas. Others will retreat clutching handfuls of hair.

Christmas clampdown?
A few years ago in Ireland, the then-minister for social and family affairs, Mary Coughlan, tried to persuade businesses to impose a voluntary ban on early Xmas adverts on the grounds that young families are being put under too much financial pressure...with little success.

But if you think three months build-up is pushing it, imagine how long that is for a small child. What can you do if they start writing Christmas lists while you're unpacking your holiday suitcases? If this is happening in your family, there's a danger they'll be so wired by Christmas week that the festival will dissolve into tears and tantrums... and that's just you!

Make time for the other festivals
First, the soft approach - space out the wait and fill it with minor treats. Halloween and Bonfire Night will give them something to look forward to. Between Bonfire Night and the Big C, is there a family birthday you could plan a celebration round? Or help them organise an impromptu party for their school-friends?

There are plenty of non-Christian winter festivals that tend to get overlooked - find out about Diwali (BBC's Diwali site), Hanukkah (www.hanukkah-traditions.com) and Kwanzaa (www.officialkwanzaawebsite.org).

You could also generate a little stop-gap excitement, at least for the younger ones, by designating a day for tree-buying and decoration.

Help your kids measure out the time until Christmas by making gifts that take a while to 'mature' - pomanders and play-dough decorations take 4 weeks drying-out time. Cake-making is another winner - a great excuse for a creative mess with edible results.

Think about others
Alternatively, there's the tough line. Does your child really understand what Christmas is about? Explain that it's the season for GIVING, not just receiving. Instead of just acquiescing to a series of demands, why not try and involve your child with more of the Christmas spirit? Encourage them to draw up a list of who they want to GIVE presents to. Suggest they may want to start saving a little of their pocket money each week in order to be able to afford buying presents for friends and family.

Stand your ground to make Christmas special
Don't just give in. If you feel you really must give your child a pre-Christmas treat, insist on them having earned it. This can be done in a number of ways. Either by insisting they provide a present for Auntie first or by helping around the home - washing the car, washing-up, cleaning their room. Even small children can take on simple household chores like dusting.

At any rate what you simply have to avoid is buying peace and quiet with presents before the day. All this will do is generate further demands for greater and even more expensive presents and ensure disappointment on Christmas Day itself.

After all, if every day is Christmas Day then Christmas Day will be a day just like another. And nobody wants that.

• When kids want too much at Christmas
• The Gift of Giving - Members' Tips
• Back to the Christmas section