If your children are thinking of giving their teacher an apple as a Xmas present, maybe they should think again. A new survey conducted by MORI for the TES newspaper doesn't feature the traditional fruity gift anywhere. And if you really want to get in the classroom bad books try giving teacher a scented candle, a vase or a picture frame. Or worse still, toiletries.

Those were the items rated rock bottom of teachers likes and dislikes for gifts. Chocolates and sweets may get a better response - but best to check. Almost as many female teachers (14%) said these were their most disliked gift as said they were their favourites (15%).

Many women teachers say they would prefer something a pupil has produced themselves, like a drawing or a note than any shop-bought present.

For male teachers gift-giving is a lot easier. Something alcoholic, like wine, champagne or spirits will do the trick. 21% think drink is the ideal present. But forget chocs, socks and ties.

The average present costs £4.30 but some teachers are receiving gifts worth in excess of £100, leading some authorities to ask teachers to log expensive gifts. Teachers union the NUT agrees that gifts out of the ordinary should be recorded.

Unusual gifts received include pheasants, saris and flavoured condoms! Perhaps the only Apple that's welcome is one which comes with an iPod attached!

• For the best family guide to the festive season check out our Christmas 2005 section here
  
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