In our 24/7 news society, children are much more likely to hear about child abuctions and worse. Raisingkids.co.uk's child psychologist Dr Pat Spungin offers guidance on how to talk to your children about these stories.

It's good to talk
Be aware when talking to your child of your tone of voice. Speak calmly and matter of factly and your child will feel reassured. Make sure you use age-appropriate information when talking to them about stranger danger. For younger children, role-play often helps put safety messages across. ('Show me how you would say 'NO!' in a loud voice')

When a child abduction or murder is in the news, even small children pick up on the fact that a child – perhaps the same age as them – is in danger. If your child asks you about it, make time to discuss the issue with them properly. Don't dismiss their fears by saying things like 'It'll never happen to you' – this may make children feel as if you don't take their concerns seriously. Ask 'Are you worried that you might be lost or taken away?' And then reassure them. If children get into the habit of burying their fears however unlikely, they are become anxious unnecessarily.

The lost child
Access to news is widespread and children talk about things at school and at play. It's likely that your kids will pick up on frightening news stories. If the story concerns a child, it will be particularly distressing; the idea of a child being stolen from their parents or lost will touch a very basic nerve in children.

Children will react differently. Some children may become very worried about it and the danger will feel real to them. Others are unaffected. Parents may find their sensitive children hang on to them in public places more than usual.

The fact that your child doesn't say anything, doesn't mean to say they're not worried. Look for oblique references to what's going on – such as 'Mummy have I ever been lost?' or being fearful of going to certain places. Look for anything different in their behaviour which indicates they are scared to let you out of their sight.

Putting stories into context
Children have no perspective on these events. When very unusual things happen, they simply think that if it's happened to someone else, it could happen to them The fact that such cases are so rare isn't understood by them. Pick up on their fears and address them and put it in a context. For example: 'Many, many children are on holiday with their parents and they never go missing' or 'Tsunamis never happen in England'.

If they seem to be paying a lot of attention to a particular story, initiate a discussion and say 'Are you worrying about that little boy/girl?' Explain that this doesn't happen very often and the reason it's in the news is exactly because it hardly ever happens. Let them know that you will look after them and will make sure that nothing like this will happen to them. The main message to put across is that your child is safe and that you will continue to make sure that they stay safe.

To hear our podcast on talking to your children about these difficult issues, click here.

• Return to our Missing kids section
• Talking to children about natural disasters
• Son upset by TV footage