Emotional and argumentative pre-teens? Well, it can't be as bad a having an adolescent on your hands... or can it?

This is the time for setting limits and establishing boundaries. Our members share their suggestions on how to cope.

Been there, done that?
'Time to set limits I would say! If you do make threats you do have to follow though. So get your act together! As another contributor to this bulletin board said, love them, limit them, and let them be. Concentrate on limiting and letting be.'
Thanks to Raisingkids' Member beentheredonethat

''I have three boys and they do need a firm hand. When my sons start arguments with me I just tell them: 'I won't have you speaking to me like that. If I do or say something you don't like tell me but I don't like you shouting and slamming doors.'

I told him what would happen next time he did it - Next time it happened, he was supposed to go ice skating with a friend and I refused to take him and he couldn't go. There was a huge argument but I stuck to my guns. There's no point in threatening if you are not prepared to carry through.

If he follows the rules at school, he can follow them at home too.'
Thanks to Raisingkids' Member jenniferd

Explain... but they can't complain
'Explain things rationally but there is a point beyond which you have to say 'enough and no more'! You and your wife have to stick to your guns at that point. She is entitled to object if you ask her when she is going to do her homework. But she can object in a rational, reasonable and respectful way.

She is entitled to say 'look I always get my homework done on time, so please don't nag me' or whatever..... In my opinion she is not entitled to throw a fit - if that's what she did. That doesn't respect you and your natural concern for her. And I think that you should make that clear to her.'
Thanks to Raisingkids' Member beentheredonethat

How do you keep your kids on the straight 'n' narrow?
Send us your tried-and-tested tips about 9-13 yr-olds!

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