The Sharing Habit
– Going, Going, Gone!
 The
shrinking size of the UK family means that sharing could soon become a thing of
the past according to a new report on sharing habits conducted by leading child
psychologist Dr Pat Spungin of raisingkids.co.uk.
The
biggest survey of its kind into parents’ attitudes to children’s sharing habits
quizzed 1500 mums from all over the UK and was carried out on behalf of new Kellogg’s
Nutri-Grain Minis, bite-sized versions of the Number One cereal bar which are
specifically designed for sharing.  Parents'
concerns
Over 40% of all parents are
concerned
that their children aren’t learning to share and 45% of parents believe that having
fewer brothers and sisters makes it more difficult for their kids to learn to
share. Parents of only children are particularly
concerned - 6 out of 10 parents thought that learning to share was difficult for
that child.
Types of mum
The
research also concluded that there are 3 types of great British mum when it comes
to sharing – The Enforcer, The Equaliser and The Delegator. The Enforcer (12%)
is the mum who lays down the law about who gets what, The Equaliser (40%) makes
sure they all get exactly the same whereas The Delegator (24%) insists that the
kids decide how to share between themselves. A further 15% of mums chose to avoid
the issue altogether. Other findings included:
- The sharing habits of children were
found to be wildly different according to age but not by gender. Sharing is something
which is learned and older children are therefore better than their younger siblings
- By the age of 3, 62% of parents expect
their children to share. 22% expect younger children to know how to share though
most psychologists would think this too early
- Most
fights about sharing centre on TV programmes and toys
- 43%
of parents thought that having more material possessions makes children less inclined
to share
- 8 out of 10 parents believe it
is their responsibility to teach their child about sharing. This figure is highest
for the parents of only children; they believe that sharing is not learned from
experience (with brothers and sisters) but is taught by mothers and fathers
- The
eldest child often engages in Unequal Sharing, sometimes because of ‘special pleading’.
First-born are generally judged to be good at sharing and often take charge of
sharing out
Mum-of-three Dr Spungin,
CEO and founder of the UK’s leading on-line parenting magazine raisingkids.co.uk,
said: 'In previous generations families had very little. What they had was shared
among many children and sharing was part of every child’s experience.' 'Now
families are smaller and parents can afford to give their children many things,
so the necessity for sharing has gone. Outside the family, at school and among
friends children have to share. Parents realise this and 82% of parents believe
it is their responsibility to teach sharing.' 'Children
learn different things from mum’s different strategies. The children of an Enforcer
will try to get her to change her mind, usually with cries of ‘It’s not fair!’
If it’s an Equaliser and ‘Share and share alike’ is the rule, then children pay
great attention to who gets what and their cry will be ‘He’s got more than me!’
'When The Delegator says ‘It’s up to you
to sort it out between you’, she encourages her kids to work together to find
a solution'.
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