Let's face it - most teenagers want to spend as little time as possible with their parents. You may be looking forward to your trip together but your teens are dreading it... or wouldn't admit to looking forward to the holiday on pain of death!

They're expecting the holiday to be boring, mainly because there are few things that teenagers don't consider 'boring' - the obvious exceptions being hanging around with their friends, watching TV, playing computer games or listening to music. Accepting that your teenagers' ideas of a good time are different from yours is the first step towards a holiday you can all enjoy.

Planning ahead
Involve them as much as possible and try to make your teenagers feel they're part of the 'planning committee' rather than children who have to do as they are told. Explain that you're working to a budget, allow them to discuss and research destinations, and give them a chance to explain what kind of holiday they would enjoy.

Once you've decided where you're going, try to give your teens some specific tasks to help them feel like valued team members - are they good photographers? Could they navigate or map the route? Can they use the internet to discover local attractions in advance? Older teens may be happy to share the driving, and can be better at speaking the native language than their parents.

Activities and obligations
Before you go, explain that you expect your teenagers to spend some time with family - whatever they say, they won't want to be left out entirely.

Talking about curfews and limits in advance won't solve everything but can help prevent big blow-ups when you're away e.g. if you don't want your teen drinking alcohol in the UK, will you be happy if they have a tipple in Barcelona where drinking is legal at 16? Will you expect your teenagers to supervise younger siblings? Are you prepared to be flexible towards the end of the holiday in return for good behaviour?

See our parenting teens section for advice on talking to your adolescents.

Give your teens some space
If you can afford it, a CD-player - with headphones - will let your teenagers entertain themselves with their own music, and give them a chance to withdraw if they need 'time out'. The same goes for hand-held computer games but remember to pack extra batteries!

Adventurous activities that teens can enjoy away from the rest of the family really make a difference. Some families prefer skiing/snowboarding holidays to the traditional summer breaks, or 'active' holidays like sailing, or eco-breaks. Another excellent option is choosing a resort offering age-appropriate activities for all the family such as sailing, archery, snorkelling, dirt-biking... you name it!

Safety
Remember that teens value their independence. If you've discussed boundaries before leaving home, you'll feel more comfortable about allowing them space to explore on their own, so try to give them private time to skulk moodily along the beach, or hang around in cybercafes.

Before you let them go, though, make sure they understand the importance of personal safety, especially in non-English speaking countries where they may be unable to ask for help. Your teenagers should know not to flaunt expensive cameras, jewellery or mobiles, to stick to busy public places, and they should carry the address of their hotel/resort with sufficient money for an emergency taxi.

Phone a friend
Friends are vitally important to teens, so they will appreciate the chance to keep in touch by email or mobile phone. Encourage them to check that their phones will work abroad before you leave, to avoid moaning later.

If your budget will stretch, consider letting your teens bring a friend along. They'll be reluctant to be seen throwing a tantrum in front of their best mate!

The last resort?
Finally, if you're convinced they really would rather stay home with their friends, might it be easier all round to allow them to do so? Only you can decide whether your 17 yr-old is mature enough to be left home alone but if you feel your child can be trusted to be responsible, it might be time to give them the option.

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• Keeping the whole family happy on holiday