Q. Is it OK to use sweets and chocolate as a good behaviour 'bribe'? I always find it’s a failsafe way to get my kids to leave the park when I want them to…

Dr Pat's answer:
Sweets are a treat and can be a great way to incentivise children to do something they might otherwise be reluctant to do. However, it may be a good idea to establish in your own mind – and for your children – the difference between an incentive and a bribe.

An incentive is something you can offer your children in order to motivate them to do something. The treat offered has to be something they want in order to motivate them to behave in a certain way.

However you need to be careful how you use treats in order to avoid 'bribing' your child. A bribe generally has negative overtones. It implies that you are asking your children to do something that they ought to do without being bribed. So if your children are resisting leaving the park and you tell them: 'I'll give you a treat if you leave the park now', in effect you're sending a message to your children that they only need to do what you say, if they want to do it or you've made it attractive enough for them to want to do it.

It's often a better idea to talk to your children ahead of going to the park and agree on the behaviour you expect. You can say that you expect them to leave the park when you say without whining or throwing a tantrum. If you draw up a chart and say that if they manage to do this for a week, they'll get a nice treat.

Alternatively, you can hold back a treat and when you leave the park, give something nice to any child who's been good and done what you asked. In that way you've established a clear reward for good behaviour.

Got a question for Dr Pat? Click here to ask her.

Click here to read more expert questions and answers.