An exhausted mother is finding it hard to cope with a new baby and a toddler who won't sleep through the night. Raisingkids.co.uk guest expert and super nanny Elaine Addison, offers some advice.

Raisingkids Member's Question
My son has seldom slept through the night. Many times, my husband and I would bring him into our bed or go to sleep in his bed so everyone could get some rest. I realise not this was a huge mistake! I have just given birth to my second child and our son's now wakes at least three times a night screaming and crying for me to sleep with him. This has become impossible due to the nightly feeding schedule of my newborn. I feel horrible because I know I have created this situation and my entire family is paying for it, especially my son.

Miss Poppy's Reply
Teaching a child good sleeping habits takes time, energy and steely persistence - all of which I'm sure you have none of at this moment! Enlist your partner’s help or a friend. Let them take care of the baby for an hour or so in the evenings whilst you concentrate on introducing your son to a good, solid bedtime routine.

Begin by setting a specific bedtime, say 7:30pm. Introduce bathtime at least one hour before bedtime. Devote yourself solely to him during this time. After bathtime, brush his teeth and then allow him to choose two bedtime stories aiming at 20-30 minutes reading time. Create an atmosphere of calm by drawing the curtains or lowering the blind and keeping noise and distractions to a minimum. Cuddle down together and read stories and then, without a lot of fuss, tuck him in and say goodnight. Make sure that he has water by his bedside and a night-light on. If he insists, keep the door slightly ajar, but keep household noise down to a minimum so as not to distract him. Introduce this routine at the same time each and every night to develop consistency.

The fun and games will begin as you prepare to leave the room, with endless stalling techniques. I suggest you abide by the first one or two but then simply return him to his bed without a fuss. If he is not used to being put to bed this will come as quite a shock and he will respond with negative behavior. But you must remain consistent and pick him up and place him back into his bed. Leave him kicking and screaming on the floor, if need be, but insist he stay in his bedroom.

Be prepared for him entering your bedroom in the middle of the night several times. Repeat the same pattern and return him to bed. If he is upset, stay with him and calm him by gently stroking him and uttering Shhhh! Then leave the room again. Prepare yourselves for one to two weeks of interrupted nights. But if you remain calm and consistent, results can begin to shine through after three to four nights. Be encouraged by this and keep reinforcing to yourself all the good benefits of a good nights sleep for all.

Hang in there!

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