Aromatherapy expert Jenni Simmonds explains how adults can enjoy the relaxing benefits of essential oils, once they've lulled their children to sleep.

Raisingkids member's question
Bedtime is such a battle in our house. I have 3 children aged between 4 and 10 yrs-old, and it often takes 3 hours to get them all settled for the night. Afterwards, I'm exhausted but so wound up I can't sleep. I don't want to take medication but can you suggest an alternative to help me relax?

Jenni Simmond's reply
So, you’ve washed up supper, their homework’s done, they’re all in bed, and, miraculously, asleep. You’ve had a drink, watched too much telly, but somehow you just don’t feel unwound…

Many parents become so habituated to broken nights that they never regain their pre-kids sleep patterns, even when the children are sleeping normally. Aromatherapy and aromatherapy-massage are ideal tools to reintroduce you to the experience of deep relaxation and re-establish sound sleep.

Before you attempt DIY aromatherapy, it’s a good idea to treat yourself, if you can, to a professional aromatherapy massage – this will give you a much better idea of how it should be done, and what it can do for you, and what massage-strokes and scents relax you best. She/he will also be able to explain a bit about the oils and their effects. It’s usually a lot less expensive than a meal out.

Now for some DIY bliss. If you have a partner, then the next step is to get some oil – try almond oil or even the olive or vegetable oil in the kitchen (you’ll need towels to protect your sheets!) – and start practising on each other. Your local library will have how-to massage books, but the best way is to trust your instincts – start gently, and the more sophisticated techniques will follow.

Aromatherapy is based on the idea that particular scents induce their own physical and mental states. For aromatherapy, a few drops of essential oils are added to the massage oil (also known as 'carrier oil').

The most effective essential oils for insomnia are generally considered to be Lavender, Chamomile, Clary-sage, Neroli, Ylang-ylang, and Rose. However, scents are very personal, and one perfume will evoke different associations in different people, so experiment, and try combinations.

If you’re a single parent, you can still use the oils and scents to help you sleep – try a few drops of Clary-sage (smells like summer-hay with herbs) in the bath, Pettigrain or Neroli (sweet and soft) or Ylang-ylang (sensual, exotic) on your pillow, or in a vaporiser in the bedroom. Recruit a friend and start massaging each other.

A few precautions:

• Essential oils are highly concentrated extracts from plants. They should NEVER be used undiluted, but always added sparingly to the carrier (massage) oil base.
  
  
• Concentrations vary according to manufacturer, so read the instructions.
  
  
• Always buy from a reputable source.
  
  
• Some oils can cause allergic reactions – always do a skin-patch test before use.
  
  
• Some oils, including Chamomile, Rose and Clary sage mentioned above, should not be used if you are pregnant.