What does adoption entail? How are prospective parents assessed for their suitability? Is there an upper age-limit on adoption?

Raisingkids.co.uk's guest expert, Felicity Collier - Chief Executive of the British Association for Adoption and Fostering offers some guidelines for people considering adopting a child.

Raisingkids member's question
I have been with my partner for 3 years, and have 2 step-children who live with us. I've suffered from Polycystic Ovary Syndrome since I was a teenager and it's very unlikely that I would be able to conceive a child. We are interested in adopting but I don't know where to start. Would we have a better chance of adopting if we got married? We both have full-time jobs - would one of us have to give up work? Are we too old? I am 36 and my partner is 41. Would we be able to adopt a baby or would we have to adopt an older child?

Felicity Collier's reply
I am very pleased that you are interested in increasing your family through adoption - there is a shortage of adopters coming forward who are interested in many of the children currently waiting in care for a new family.

I suggest you start by learning more about what adoption entails, how prospective parents are assessed for their suitability and the sort of children adoption agencies are most likely to have waiting for new families.

There is lots of information on BAAF's website (www.baaf.org.uk) which will help to answer your questions. It is probably best if you click on Be My Parent which has an online leaflet on adoption, a step by step guide and also a list of books which you might find useful. There is also a list of adoption and fostering agencies, including local authorities in your area which you can contact directly for more information or to be assessed.

Alternatively if you would like BAAF's Be My Parent staff to send you an information pack, including a copy of our family finding newspaper Be My Parent (which features details of children currently needing families), you can call us on 020 7593 2060.

At the moment, married couples, or single people can apply to adopt a child - this will change with the new Adoption and Children Act which comes into law at the end of 2004 when it will be possible for unmarried couples to apply to adopt jointly as well.

However, at the moment, only one person in an unmarried couple would be able to adopt, but both partners would still be assessed for their suitability to parent the child and would be able to share parenting responsibilities. Recent research by BAAF showed that more than 90% of adopters are married couples at the present time although an increasing number of single people are being assessed as suitable. Certainly all people are welcome to apply.

Adoptive parents, like birth parents, can be in employment. However many children who are adopted have had an unsettled past, have already experienced many changes and may have been neglected or abused. Ideally they need to have some quality time getting to know their new family - it can be very helpful if one parent can be at home full time at least for a short period and sometimes only part-time work is realistic, depending on the child's needs . Employers do now have to give adoption leave and some of this will be paid.

You are certainly within the right age group - the average age of adopters is 37-40 but many people older than that also adopt - the rule of thumb seems to be that there should not be more than about a 45 year age gap between the child and their adoptive parents but again this is not inflexible and depends on lots of other factors too. The important issue is to have enough energy to parent a child and to be in good enough health to be there for the child as he/she is growing up.

There are very few infants who are relinquished for adoption nowadays. There are far more people waiting to adopt these babies than babies needing new homes. There are however, infants where there are health concerns, perhaps because of parental drug misuse or because the baby has disabilities.

Nearly all children who are now adopted by new families have been in the care of local authorities, usually with foster carers. They are more commonly over the age of 2 and many are school age; they may be part of a group of two, three, or even four and five, brothers and sisters who need to be together because they have a close relationship; they may have learning difficulties or other problems where they need extra help and support.

Despite all the challenges, adoption can be tremendously rewarding and I hope you will give it some more thought. Good luck.