Is your GCSE star in danger of becoming a 6th form drop-out? Raisingkids.co.uk's guest expert Frank McGinty suggests ways to encourage unmotivated teenagers.

Raisingkids member's problem
My bright 16 yr-old is on the verge of dropping out of college just 3 months into his AS-levels. He is finding the transition from a very structured school to a more relaxed college environment very hard, as he has little self-discipline or motivation. The days are very long - he leaves the house just after 7am and doesn't get back untill after 6pm but he desperately wanted to go to this establishment rather than somewhere nearer.

It is thought that he may have some specific needs as he is very chaotic in his thinking and has no organisational skills. It appears that he may have an attention deficit disorder but feels that it is better to give up than get help. College have been quite helpful and his senior tutor has arranged to see him - but I have a feeling that he will simply not bother to go, as this has been the pattern of his behaviour recently. We spoke to all his subject tutors yesterday and they all say that he would have only a little catching up to do to be back on track for A or B grades in his exams. Although I would still be disappointed, I would mind less if he was leaving for a purpose. He doesn't know what he wants to do (in fact, he wants to do nothing) and we have made it clear that we will not support him to sit around at home all day. However, at 16 he is much too vulnerable to be kicked out.

Frank McGinty's advice
I’m sure your son is not alone, as many teenagers find it difficult to settle into college after school. The key word, I feel, is MOTIVATION.

You say he wants to do nothing, so let’s consider why that might be. First of all, why did he choose to go to a college so far away? Could there be some self-esteem issue here, for example, was he looking for a ‘fresh start’, away from those who knew him? Or did he go because they offered a particular course, which perhaps he didn’t research properly, or which simply may not be living up to its claims?

It could be that he is very TIRED. The effects of exhaustion on motivation can be drastic, and here is a 16 yr-old who is away at 7am, not back until 6pm and has all the travelling in between. This could really build up over a 3-month period and throw his life into confusion and disarray.

He may also be reacting to the change - quite often those who come from very structured environments are unsettled or fail to cope in relaxed situations. They have to learn new skills, which ideally should have been nurtured at school: self-reliance (as opposed to a strict adherence to the school’s demands); and organising workloads, timetables and workspace etc. for oneself. Many colleges have courses to teach these skills. It may be worth enquiring.

You say your son is bright, and if he could get A or B grades without too much catching up, then he certainly is. I would be very wary of using labels like attention deficit disorder as very often these can be limiting. It may be that at college he doesn’t have the opportunity to use his strongest learning style; perhaps there are too many lectures and he prefers to learn by ‘doing’, for example. However, I doubt if much progress will be made until he sees the point of the course he is taking.

Motivation is the spark that ignites fires! Even if he hasn’t a clue about a career, encourage him to follow what he enjoys most. This is often a challenge for parents, but will inevitably lead him to the right path. Some young people have to take a job before realising what they want to study. Others have to change courses a few times. It’s all about self-discovery.