When should you believe the teacher's concerns that your child is a 'problem' child and start seeking professional help? Raisingkids.co.uk's guest expert Jill Curtis advises not to jump to any hasty conclusions before patient observation.

Raisingkids member's problem
At what age do you need to seek expert help over concerns with your child's behaviour? I have a 3 yr-old who's very strong-willed and lively but she sometimes displays negative behaviour. The nursery has alerted me to a couple of incidents - she also has a low attention span and 'flits' a lot. What is 'acceptable' and at what age do you think it's advisable to voice my concerns without her being labelled a 'problem child'?

Jill Curtis's advice
You describe a very lively and active little 3 yr-old girl. Although it may suit the nursery to have a room full of 'good' passive and cooperative little children, there must be space for the child who knows her own mind. To be strong-willed can be a blessing in later life, although it may mean that caring for a small child who 'knows what she wants or does not want' can be a trial. It seems to me to be within the range of acceptable behaviour for a child of this age to have a low attention span at times - or is this a worry for you at home too?

Quite often a child starting nursery is overwhelmed by the choice of activities - the general 'buzz' - and is anxious not to miss out on anything. This can result in the child getting easily distracted. If your little girl is happy to sit and be read to by you at home or will concentrate on a favourite activity, don't worry. A child with an inquisitive mind often likes to sample everything. Show me a 3 yr- old who doesn't show some rebellion, and I'll begin to worry! You know your child best, so keep this energetic and spirited child busy. Aim to be on your guard against the nursery labelling her a problem child - a label all too readily given to a child who sometimes marches to a different tune. And thank goodness that some children do, and they aren't all cardboard cut-outs!

• More Answers From Hidden Disabilities Specialist, Jill Curtis
• What Does Your Toddler Get Up To At Nursery?
• Lively? Energetic?... Or Hyperactive? What To Watch For
• Willful Toddler? Talk To Other Parents In Our Discussions