A recent survey found 66% of UK secondary school pupils have been offered drugs. Was one of them your child? Raisingkids.co.uk's guest expert, drugs counsellor Melissa Baxter, offers some advice for parents who suspect their teenager might be involved with substance abuse.

Raisingkids member's problem
My daughter says that most of her friends smoke pot and some of them take harder drugs, but she doesn't join in. I don't know if she's telling the truth or not. What are the signs and symptoms of drug abuse?

Melissa's advice
I try to discourage parents from thinking in terms of 'signs and symptoms' of drug abuse - trying to spot 'warning signs' is no substitute for good communication. The risks of relying on checklists are that you might jump to the wrong conclusion, or create an atmosphere of mistrust within the family. If you're concerned that there's something wrong with your teenager, or that they are acting strangely, I cannot emphasis enough the importance of talking to them about what is going on in their life.

If you suspect your child is using drugs, before you do anything else, you should think about how you would react if your worst suspicions were confirmed. If you have a partner, it's advisable to discuss it together and work through your own feelings so you can present a consistent, united front. I'd also recommend visiting www.drugscope.org.uk or www.trashed.co.uk so you feel a bit better informed, or calling the National Drugs Helpline on 0800 77 66 00.

When they find out their teenager is using drugs, parents usually react with shock, blame, or anger, which can push the young person further away. By thinking it through in advance, you give yourself space to deal with your own feelings and you'll find it easier to discuss the problem in a calm, non-judgemental way.

Adolescence is hard, and young people come under pressure from lots of different sources. Many of the symptoms below could result from drug abuse but equally might result from a lingering virus, academic worries, bullying, relationship problems or fears about something within the family. Some of these 'signs' are relatively normal teenage behaviours.

As a parent, it's better to look at these symptoms as indicators that your child has a problem with something - it could be drugs, but could just as easily be an emotional, social, or physical/mental health problem. Signs of possible drug use include:

• Loss of interest in hobbies, sports, and other favourite activities
  
  
• Deteriorating relationships with family members
  
  
• A new group of friends and/or losing contact with old friends
  
  
• Listlessness, excessive tiredness, lack of appetite
  
  
• Changes in sleeping pattern e.g. up at night and
  sleeping during the day
  
  
• Personal neglect/no interest in grooming
  
  
• Withdrawal and/or depression
  
  
• Mood-swings, hostile behaviour, lack of co-operation
  
  
• Changes in school or work attendance
  
  
• Lack of concentration
  
  
• Red-rimmed eyes and/or runny nose (without allergies or a cold)
  
  
• Has money been going missing from your home or do you have good reason to suspect valuables are being stolen?
  
  
• Have you found any of the following objects in your house? Pipes, rolling papers, small medicine bottles, eye drops, butane lighters, homemade pipes, or bongs (pipes that use water as a filter) made from soft drinks cans or plastic beverage containers, scorched tinfoil, razor blades, syringes.