Their daughter's attitude to food is stressing out the whole family. Nutrition expert Emer Delaney offers a range of tips to help the situation.

Raisingkids member's problem
My nine-year-old daughter refuses to try any new foods - she almost has a phobia of them and shakes and screams if anything different is offered to her or is put on her plate (like a garnish). She will not touch any food in a sauce or mixed - everything has to be plain and not touch anything else on the plate. If the broccoli touches her meat, it is "contaminated" and has to be thrown. All food is eaten in a strict order, finishing each food type before she starts on the next. We can no longer go to restaurants, and she can't eat with friends or go on school trips. It is affecting all our lives and the stress is enormous. Until she was two or three, she ate everything. We do not force her to eat anything, but always offer other foods. All the advice was that she would expand her tastes in time and not to worry. Please can you help - I am desperate and close to breaking point!

Nutrition Expert Emer's Advice
It can be normal for children to refuse to eat certain types of foods or from time to time to refuse to eat anything at all. Often this can be your child trying to show their independence and is therefore a normal part of growing up. It can also often be associated with a negative experience associated with a particular food type.

Regardless of what is causing the situation, this can obviously be particularly worrying for you as a parent. It is important however to remember that children will not come to any harm if they do not eat for a short while and that often they need less than you think. If your daughter is following the percentiles on growth charts, you can rest assured that she is getting the right amount of nutrition for her age and activity levels.

You could try the following suggestions which are intended as a guide to assist you in over coming problems associated with mealtimes:

• Be positive and offer lots of praise and positive encouragement for when your child does eat food
• Ignore food that is not eaten and avoid getting cross or anxious
• A system of rewards e.g. stickers, her favourite new album or movie can be used as a reward for foods eaten or for foods tried
• Have regular mealtimes during the day
• Include only small snacks between the meals
• Do not offer any extra food between meals and snacks except water for when your daughter is thirsty
• Family meals are a good idea – try and eat with each other. This way the meal is more interesting and there is less focus on the food. It may also help her to copy what the others are doing
• Mealtimes should be no longer than 30 minutes
• Alternative food should not be given if she does not eat her meal

Remember too, your daughter is aware of your concerns and she will react to your comments and actions. Therefore, if she does not eat try not to comment on this and when she does not get any reaction from you and your family, she may change her behaviour.