What do you do if your child is disruptive at school but good at home? Our reader has been given conflicting advice from professionals. Raisingkids.co.uk's education expert, Kate Nayler gives her considered opinion.

Raisingkids member's problem
My boy is now five and a half and is attending mainstream school. However, his behaviour (of which 99% is only in school) has become most disruptive. He will suddenly get up from what he is doing and start throwing furniture or anything else that comes to hand. His language is terrible and he seems to have no control over what he is doing. On a one-to-one basis he is reasonable well behaved and I've never had any trouble getting him to school. He tells everyone that he loves learning new things but due to his disruptiveness he is falling behind. The educational psychologist has been to see him and draws a blank, his GP suggests sedatives and his paediatrician claims he is normal! Any help would be most welcome.

Education expert's advice
It is very worrying and upsetting for any parent when their child is excluded from school and even more so when a child is very young. You seem to have spoken to a number of professionals with quite different opinions. Whilst this may seem confusing, it could be due to the different settings in which your son has been seen by those professionals.

Since your son has been seen by the paediatrician, I am assuming that there are no concerns regarding his hearing, speech and language development, vision and communication skills. However, if any of these have not been checked, I would recommend that you speak to your GP. If a child has difficulty hearing or understanding what is being said it is extremely frustrating for them and if they have difficulty expressing themselves verbally, they may well respond physically.

You say that the educational psychologist has been involved but I do not know whether your son was seen in a 1:1 situation or in class. Since the problem appears to be in class it is important that he is observed there.

It is also important to find out if there is any pattern to your son’s unwanted behaviour. Does it occur at certain times of day/in certain lessons/with particular teachers? When does it NOT occur?

A clearer description of the behaviour your son displays needs to be established. For example, knowing that he’s ‘disruptive’ doesn’t really tell you very much, but kicking, shouting and throwing objects tells you exactly. You also need to know how often this happens. Your son’s teacher can do this by keeping a daily chart for a week. This helps teachers to target specific behaviour and to monitor progress.

My advice to you is to keep yourself as informed as possible, work with his teachers and try to remain positive. Your son may have some difficulties some of the time, but he will have an abundance of good qualities. Encourage everyone to look at his good points and build on those.