The escapology exploits of a three-year-old are making it increasingly difficult for a family to get out and about.
Dr Pat Spungin helps them find some practical solutions to the problem.

Raisingkids member's problem
We have two children, a son who is just over 3 and a daughter who is just 1. Both of my children are wonderful. However we are finding it almost impossible to take our son anywhere, be it a day out or shopping or to a family restaurant for lunch. The problem we are having is that he will not walk with us or hold hands. At every opportunity will try and run ahead of us or he will simply bolt away if we are out shopping, for example.

I know that in the back of his head he knows that mummy or daddy will allways run after him and as a result he may think it's a game, so we have tried the approch of letting him run off while watching him. But he doesn't! We have the same problem when we eat out. We are now at a point where we are always stressed out before we even get out of the house because we know what will happen. Your advice would be much appreciated.

Dr Spungin's advice
I can appreciate how difficult this is for you. Perhaps the best thing I can suggest when you are on the street is that you use something like Wristlink which you can buy at Mothercare. This fastens around the adult's wrist and also the child's. This will stop your son from running off on the street, which must be the biggest worry.

In the restaurant I have two ideas; take something with you that will engage him and keep him at the table. Many children's restaurants have colouring booklets and pencils. You can also buttonhole the waiter or waitress as you go in and ask her to speak to both children and tell them that they are not allowed to run around in this restaurant. It's against the rules! Children are great rule followers and this may just work, especially if it doesn't come from mummy and daddy.

Alternatively, you could save yourselves the stress altogether and not eat out with the children until your son is old enough to be reasoned with, and enjoys the experience of eating out.

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