Ask Our Experts: Daughter's Dog Phobia
Children's fears aren't always rational, but they can be extremely
worrying, both for the parents and the child. In
this extract from our archives, parenting expert and child psychologist
Dr Pat Spungin, CEO of Raisingkids.co.uk, discusses how to approach these
phobias.
Our
member's problem
My four year-old has a real fear of dogs. If she even sees one in the
distance, no matter how small it is or whether it's barking or silent,
she screams and shakes, and wants to be picked up. We had a family dog
until a year ago, and she wasn't even very keen on that - when the dog
had its fur trimmed it took my daughter three or four days to get used
to it without screaming when the dog came in the room. She's never been
bitten or snapped at by any dog - this problem has been going on for over
two years so how do I deal with it?
Dr
Spungin's advice
This is quite difficult to deal with and will take some time. Your daughter's
fear of dogs keeps her away from them, so she can't learn that dogs won't
harm her through direct experience. All I can suggest is something psychologists
call 'desensitisation' - basically, expose your daughter to dogs, first
of all in a very low-threat situation (e.g. a picture in a book) and then
build up her exposure, until she can at least see or even pass a dog in
the street.
Start
with something completely 'safe' from her point of view, maybe a picture
book with dogs in it or perhaps a soft doggie toy. Talk to her about what
she sees. Show her pictures of your dog and talk about what a nice dog
it was and how she used to stroke it, etc. Remind her that she's had good
experiences with your family dog. When you're outdoors, point out dogs
(at a distance) that are playing nicely with children or adults. Don't
ever force her closer to a dog than she feels comfortable with. The objective
is that over time she can tolerate closer and closer contact with dogs.
This is a long process so don't rush any stage.
If she's frightened in public, just pick her
up and take her away calmly and quietly. She probably won't be able to
touch a dog for a long time, but as long as she can be reassured when
there are dogs within a limited area, that's as much as you can aim for
at the moment.
|
