Adolescents can be a handful. What happens when it gets out of control? Raisingkids.co.uk's child psychologist Dr Pat Spungin offers some advice on dealing with aggressive teenagers.

Raisingkids member's problem
I have a 17-year-old daughter who is verbally & physically abusive to myself, my husband and the other children in the family. She has no regard or respect for anybody and does not seem to care who she hurts. She frequently erupts without warning, lashing out at everyone.

We have tried praising the positive things she does and encouraged her social activities. We have also, at times, ignored her behaviour and given her space, but she accuses us then of not caring. It seems like there is no way to soothe her aggression. We don't want her to feel rejected, but we must consider the well-being of the whole family.

Dr Spungin's advice
I think you are right to seek help, both for your daughter and for the rest of the family. She is obviously very unhappy and doesn't know how to communicate that.

Firstly, I suggest contacting Parentlineplus on 0808 800 2222 (freephone) to get some support for yourself from a trained person. They may also be able to refer you to a parenting group in your area or suggest another place where you can find help. Their website is at www.parentlineplus.org.uk.

There is also an organisation called Positive Parenting (023 9252 8787) that runs courses across the country (www.parenting.org.uk).

Finally, you shouldn't forget the services provided by your local GP. He may be able to refer your daughter to a psychologist specialising in adolescent problems.

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