What can you do if your child is disturbed by intrusive night 'visions' or terrifying bad dreams? Raisingkids.co.uk's child psychologist Dr Pat Spungin suggests ways of bringing out your child's hidden fears and breaking the cycle of reccuring nightmares.

Raisingkids member's problem
My 10 yr-old is having 'visions' of a graveyard, a headstone with her own name on it and the rest of the family standing around it crying. This only happens at bedtimes when she closes her eyes although it's not quite a dream. Otherwise she is a happy, healthy child. I have checked with the school who has confirmed there is nothing unusual about her behaviour and her school work is as good as ever. I have tried talking to her and sleeping in the same bed as her but I just don't know what to try next. How do I get to the bottom of the problem? Please help, this has been going on for a couple of months now.

Dr Spungin's advice
Many children of all ages become anxious just before they fall asleep. As they relax into sleep, the worries they keep at bay during the day surge into their minds. I think this is what is happening with your daughter. She is expressing fears she has in her subconscious. If she is a very imaginative child, she experiences her fears as what you call a 'vision'.

My first guess is that she is worried about dying, which is not an uncommon fear to have around this age. She may also be frightened by something she has seen on television, read in the newspaper or heard in the playground. Is something at home or school causing her distress? Is she being bullied? Is she worried about moving to a new school? Even primary school can be very stressful these days, with SATS and the like. Moreover, she is becoming adolescent - a very difficult time for many children.

Talk to her about it during the day when she is relaxed and happy. Tell her that her fears and her 'vision' may be a way of expressing worries that she keeps hidden during the day. Ask her if she's worried about dying? Is she scared of being ill or does she know anyone who is ill? Does she maybe have some symptoms that she believes are indicative of a serious illness? Are there changes to her body that she is concerned about? Could she have had some menstrual bleeding and not mentioned it to you? By discussing the meaning of the 'vision' you will bring her real fears out into the open - now she can resolve them during the day in her conscious mind.

You will probably find that your daughters 'vision' eventually fades away. Or, as things change in her life, it may be replaced by other worries. In the meantime. once you have established what is at the root of her nightmares, you can help your daughter develop some relaxation strategies so that by the time she goes to bed she isn't tense and anxious. She has probably begun associating the 'vision' with bedtime so that her fear and anticipation causes it to occur. One way of coping is to break this cycle. You could try reading with her to help her sleep, getting her to take a relaxing bath, putting on the radio quietly to distract her, or a talking story book. Help her to develop new and relaxing associations with bedtime.

• More Answers From Dr Pat Spungin
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• Changing Sleep Cycles For Pre-Teens