Few children like doing homework, but what do you do when your child consistently refuses to complete their homework assignments? Parenting expert and child psychologist Dr Pat Spungin, CEO of Raisingkids.co.uk, suggests methods to overcome this problem.

Raisingkids member's problem
My 12 year-old isn't doing her homework. We've arranged (with her school) for each teacher to sign a Friday report card to say if she's missed assignments. She's skipping a lot of work (which we have discussed with the school) but we spend each weekend catching up on late homework and it's always a big battle.

She knows she loses privileges for skipping assignments but it seems she can't do her homework without having us around, either to explain it or often, do it for her. Is she just lazy, or could she have a learning disorder? If she has a genuine learning problem, how could it have gone unnoticed by previous teachers?

Dr Spungin's advice
At 12, you can talk to your daughter about the problem. Take time out so you can talk undisturbed. Assume she wants to do well at school and to please you and communicate this to her in your attitude. Above all, be non-confrontational. If you give her the message that she's unmotivated and lazy, she's likely to respond negatively. The most important thing is to find something she can succeed at. It doesn't have to be academic, it could also be artistic, athletic or practical - can she build things? Is she musical? Is she a good cook? Find your daughter's talents and help her exploit them.

Explain you're worried that she'll find it difficult to get a good job later in life, if she doesn't do well at school. What does she say in answer to questions like 'Do you find the work difficult to do?' and if she says she finds the work difficult, ask if there's anything you (or the school) can do to help.

Ask her 'What's your best subject at school?' and 'What subjects do you like?' as this give you something to build on, and outlines areas where she can perform well. Ask 'Which teachers do you like?' and 'Why?' - useful for clues as to how she should be encouraged to learn and the best way to motivate her. Ask 'What's stopping you from getting your assignments in on time?' - she's old enough to take some responsibility for solving her own problems. Listen to her, and encourage her to commit to doing something.

A good teacher encourages, supports, and helps the pupil want to learn. Shouting, impatience, and tellings-off all make learning an unpleasant experience. I'm sure your daughter wants to do well but if she feels pressured, she'll get nervous and scared of failing.

If you want to help, be calm and low-key. Don't get anxious, you'll make her anxious too. Get her to break up the tasks she has to do into manageable chunks and divide up the time she has to complete them. Talk to her about the bits she finds difficult and when she gets it wrong, don't tell her off but encourage her to try again. Praise her when she gets it right.

Your overall objective should be to find her talents and encourage her to develop them so that she can succeed at school and carry forward that feeling of success into later life. It won't be easy but persevere now before a pattern of failure and low achievement is established.

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