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Our Experts: Our Child Prefers Grandma
Can children love their grandparents too much? Parenting expert and child psychologist Dr Pat Spungin, advises a family in this tricky situation.
Raisingkids
member's problem
My wife and I have recently moved into my mother's house for financial reasons. Our 13-month-old son loves his new house and has also built up a good relationship with his grandmother. My wife has become worried that she is losing him, as he goes to my mother when he hurts himself, plays with her more, and doesn't look for much attention from my wife any more. I try to tell my wife that it's just a novelty factor with his grandmother, but it's been nearly 3 weeks now. My wife is becoming depressed, and I think that is only making things worse, as a toddler is going to go to the person who's the most fun. Any advice would be appreciated.
Dr
Spungin's advice
I can sympathise with this as when my youngest was about the same age, she was looked after by my niece Alice. She also would turn to Alice when she hurt herself or was upset. Once when I reached for her when she fell over, she said 'I want to go to Alice'.
I found it very upsetting but my husband helped me see things differently. He said that a child can't have too many people who love them and whom they love. Your child loves all of you. It's not a competition.
It may be at the moment your mother gets to do more of the fun things and your wife more of the routine things. Maybe you can look at who does what and try to allocate the fun and the routine things differently. Even routine things can be a good experience for your little boy. So if your wife is changing a nappy, she could sing/joke/ tease/tickle or whatever but introduce some full time attention and good fun into the activity.
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