The arrival of a new baby has resulted in this family's toddler turning away from her mother and attaching herself to the father. Can, or should, anything be done?

Raisingkids member's problem
Since the birth of our second little girl (now aged 11 weeks) our eldest daughter (21 months) has become more detached from her mother and more attatched to me. This is causing her mum to feel down and unwanted by her. What do you advise us to do?.

Dr Spungin's advice
First of all, congratulations on the new addition to your family! We have a number of features on our site about helping children cope with the arrival of siblings which I would urge you to read.

Toddler Jealousy

Preparing your toddler for a new baby

Perhaps the most useful way to deal with this issue is to think of yourself and your wife as a unit that gives comfort and support to your child. The fact that your daughter needs more from you rather than your wife at the moment, doesn’t mean your daughter loves her mother any less. It just means that she needs comfort, can probably see that you have more time to give her, and is turning more towards you as a result. This is fine and normal and will probably lessen once she’s used to her new sister being around.

Of course, your daughter may also be angry and feel that this interloper has come into the family home and is now getting more attention than her. She may be focusing that anger on her mother, and feel you to be less culpable. Reassure her of her importance and of you and your wife’s love as much as you can.

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