The playground can be a lonely place. In this extract from our archives, parenting expert and child psychologist Dr Pat Spungin, CEO of Raisingkids.co.uk, suggests ways to help a child make friends.

Raisingkids member's problem
I'm extremely worried about my 5 yr-old daughter's social skills, as she doesn't seem to be accepted by her peers. She's very interested in other children and tries to mix with them but ends up being ignored, rejected and excluded. I don't feel able to help because I've always had the same difficulties myself. I'm desperate to find a way to change the situation and help her to become more like other children. My 3 year-old son seems to have the same problems. Would a child psychologist be the answer?

Dr Spungin's advice
Your little girl may be happier one-to-one than in the hurly burly of the playground. Try creating opportunities for interaction in the safety of her own home, by inviting other children round for tea or to play. Maybe take her to after-school activities where she can share an interest with other children.

When you invite other children, show her how to talk to them by example. Smile, welcome them, ask them questions about themselves. Let your daughter (and son) see you doing it and they'll soon learn social skills without even realising it.

Think about what you refer to as 'social skills' - what are they, exactly? Break down the skills into areas that she can cope with and learn e.g. make sure she greets visitors, and tell her it's polite to smile and look people in the eye if they speak to her. Encourage her to ask other children if they'd like to play - maybe she's standing around waiting to be asked. Not everyone can be the most popular child in the school - some children are one-friend people - but as long as they develop friends among a small group of people they like and trust, it'll be enough.

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