If it's about raising kids... it's here! UK online parenting magazine
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Ask Our Experts: 5 Yr-Old Won't Sleep Alone

Doll In Pink Wooden Cot Teaching a child to sleep the whole night in their own bed can be quite tricky! Raisingkids.co.uk's child psychologist Dr Pat Spungin advises how to break a bad cycle and reestablish good sleeping habits.

Raisingkids member's problem
My daughter is 5 yrs-old and still sleeps with me and my husband - she wants to be wherever I am. She'll start off in a cot or falls asleep on the couch while we watch TV, but eventually she will end up in our bed. My husband is getting upset about it, so how can I get her to sleep in her own room? My eldest daughter (8) doesn't sleep in her bed either, preferring the couch or cot too. I feel as though I haven't done a very good job in this department! Could you suggest anything to help?

Dr Spungin's advice
Start by telling her she's a big girl now and must sleep in her own bed all night. When she does come to your bed, simply take her by the hand and take her back to her own bed. If she cries and tries to get out of bed, repeat the procedure until she finally falls asleep. If she gets out of bed and runs after you, close the door firmly and don't let her out of her bedroom. If she cries, wait 5 minutes and then go in, put her back into bed, tuck her up, say goodnight and leave. Wait outside the door, let her cry for 5 more minutes, and repeat the whole process.

Don't give in after 3 or 4 times, otherwise all she learns is to keep on coming back until you give in and she gets her own way. The first night will be tough, so prepare yourself for it. Don't expect her to succeed straight-away as it may take up to a week before she finally understands that when she wakes in the night - as all of us do - that she should simply turn over and go back to sleep in her own bed.

Falling asleep in front of the TV is not a good habit for her to get into so don't let her do this. When she looks tired, put her through her bedroom routine. It maybe that she needs a night light, a soft toy, or even have the two girls share a room to help her settle down. Persist and before too long everybody will be able to get a good night's sleep. Make sure to visit our 4-9 Yrs section and read what information we have on good sleep habits.

Also, take a look at our Discussions to read what other parents have written on the subject - you will be surprised just how much good advice you will get if you ask other members to tell you how they coped with the problem. Finally, there is a book titled Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Dr Richard Ferber, which could be very useful.

 


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