Where do babies come from? Just how much should you tell a 7 yr-old about sex? Raisingkids.co.uk's child psychologist Dr Pat Spungin advises how to explain the facts of life to little ones.

Raisingkids member's problem
My 7 yr-old has asked me 'What does sex mean?' What should I say to her? I've tried to explain that I will tell her more when she's old enough to understand, but she's curious now. I'm scared of telling her more than she needs to know and ruining her sense of innocence. What do I say to her?

Dr Spungin's advice
The rule is, if she's old enough to ask the question, she's old enough to get an answer... but the answer should be geared to her age. She needs to understand that boys and girls are different physically. There's a very good book called Where Do I Come From? by Peter Mayle, which is geared to answering the questions that young children ask without giving them more information than they need.

The most important thing to recognise is that your daughter will pick up cues from you and the way you react to her question. If you answer her questions simply and matter-of-factly without any embarrassment, then she will learn not to feel shy about asking you questions and won't hesitate to ask whenever she needs to know. This will be very useful when she's a teenager and will help her to feel she's able to talk to you about any problems she has. The more approachable and open you are, the more she will consult you, and the less she will keep from you in the future.

Moreover, it's important that you should be the one to answers her questions because what she hears in the schoolyard will be inappropriate, confusing and possibly inaccurate.

You may be interested to read what I advised another member about Sex & The 7 Yr-Old, and on a general note visit our Parenting Skills section on how to have a discussion with your children (for all ages).

• More Answers From Dr Pat Spungin
• Parenting Skills