What do you do when your 7 year-old is turning to comfort eating after an difficult experience? In this extract from our archives, parenting expert and child psychologist Dr Pat Spungin, CEO of Raisingkids.co.uk, suggests ways of working through this.

Raisingkids member's problem
Following my divorce from my husband a year ago, my 7 year-old (our only child) doesn't want to talk about her feelings. She seems fairly OK most of the time but she's eating more and more sugary snacks and getting quite upset if denied them (she's always been a picky eater and doesn't like exercise either). I'm concerned about her health in the longer term and also worried she's burying her feelings under food instead of discussing them. By the way, my husband and I have managed to keep things fairly amicable and he sees her often.

Dr Spungin's advice
At 7, your daughter doesn't really have the vocabulary to talk about her feelings. Don't force it with her. If an opportunity presents itself and you see that she is concerned or unhappy about something, you could say something like 'Are you upset that Daddy doesn't live with us any more?' If she takes up your cue, fine, but I wouldn't push it. Children are quite resilient. She still sees her Daddy, she knows that both of you still love her, so maybe she has come to terms with it.

Regarding the sugary snacks, don't buy them - or maybe buy less of them. If sweets are not available, then the issue of denying her won't arise. If her choice of things to eat only includes healthy foods, then she'll eat the healthy stuff.

If you're worried about her not getting enough exercise, try after-school clubs like gymnastics or ballet. Do you play a sport or exercise yourself? Perhaps you could join a club together, or go swimming together? Try walking with her instead of driving, as it's also a very good opportunity to talk together. Establish good food and exercise habits now and they will last!

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• Discussion: Support For Parents Of Children With Eating Disorders
• Need Someone To Talk To? www.parentlineplus.org.uk