We hear so much about eating disorders, but how do you know the difference between just being a picky eater and a real problem? Parenting expert and child psychologist Dr Pat Spungin, CEO of Raisingkids.co.uk, discusses this issue.

Raisingkids member's problem
Do eating disorders only affect teenagers? My 7 year-old eats breakfast and picks at dinner but refuses to eat lunch at school. I've tried packed lunches but it's no better. When I ask what she'd like to eat, she just shrugs and appears uninterested. I've tried taking no notice but eventually her attitude wears me down. I worry about her getting a balanced diet. Could a 7 year-old be developing anorexia?

Dr Spungin's advice
Picky eating can drive you mad but it's not necessarily harmful. If she's lively, looks well and is growing at the same rate as her classmates, relax. If she's listless and looks poorly or gets recurrent infections, then it's time to see your doctor. Is she healthy and energetic? If so, she may just have a naturally small appetite so trust her and don't worry about it. Many children today are out-of-touch with their appetites through constant snacking and grazing. In the Western world, over-eating is far more of a problem than under-eating.

Make sure that what she does eat is balanced. Since she eats breakfast and dinner, make sure they're nutritionally rich. You don't say if she's finally agreed to a hot meal or a packed lunch but maybe food from home is a better option. Let her choose what she wants for herself and if she brings it back without eating it, don't say anything. If she's otherwise fine, it's not an issue.

If she doesn't have a hang-up about what she eats, don't encourage one by your own anxiety. Good luck. I know it's difficult to stay calm when your child appears not to be eating but trust your instincts.

• Ask Our Parenting Expert: More Answers About 4-9 Yr-Olds
• Healthy Eating For Primary School-Age Children
• Discussion: Support For Parents Of Children With Eating Disorders
• Need Someone To Talk To? www.parentlineplus.org.uk