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Ask Our Experts: Why Can't My 10 Yr-Old Sleep!

Sleepwalking boy in pyjamas What can you do with a 10 year-old insomniac? What's behind children's sleep problems? Parenting expert and child psychologist Dr Pat Spungin, CEO of Raisingkids.co.uk, tackles a common problem for parents of pre-teens.

Raisingkids member's problem
My 10 yr-old son has been having problems sleeping over the past few months - not all the time, just a couple of nights per month. Sometime he appears tired but says he’s been unable to sleep.

He also has a history of occasional sleep walking. We’ve tried to establish a bedtime routine but he takes a long time to fall asleep. He says he isn’t worried about anything. Sleepless nights don’t seem connected to particularly stressful days but he’s become a little concerned about not getting to sleep. Is it just his sleep pattern changing with age, or a sign of somethign more serious?

Dr Spungin's advice
The average 10 year-old sleeps for 9½ hours but all children are different. Maybe bedtime's too early, or your son needs less sleep than average. Keep a record over the next few weeks and if he's averaging 9-10 hours per night, don't worry.

It's not clear from your email if he's affected by lack of sleep but if he's lively and alert next day, there's nothing to be concerned about. Is his sleep pattern changing? Probably not! Teens have a reputation for sleeping excessively long hours but they tend to stay up very late at the weekends and make up for it by sleeping late next day! You say he's becoming anxious about going to sleep but I wonder if it's really your anxiety communicating itself to him.

If unchecked, the tendency is to go to sleep later and later. Our bodies naturally operate on a 25-hour clock - not the 24-hour one. We keep to our 24-hour cycle because of routine. If he doesn't sleep long enough one night, resist the temptation to let him sleep later next morning. Try to keep to the routine you have established.

If he's not tired when he goes to bed, let him read for as long as he likes. Tell him he should just turn the light off when he's ready. This more relaxed attitude on your part will communicate itself to him so he'll stop worrying about going to sleep and go to sleep when he feels tired.

Don't worry. One or two days per month isn't much, and he'll easily make it up over subsequent nights. Tell him that over a week he'll get the right amount of sleep. Some nights he'll sleep more and other nights less, but it all evens out. The main thing is to stop him worrying because in the long run, that will cause more sleeplessness.

 


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