Neutralising
Common Pre-Teen Flashpoints
Everyone has certain topics that set their teeth on edge, make their
blood boil, and just, inevitably, wind them up.
These
topics are prime triggers for arguments. But if you can see them coming,
how can you stop them?
I
can't stand it...
The list of things parents can't stand is very long. It includes haircuts,
clothes, friends, language, music and a lot more. For a pre-teen, these
things are a statement of identity and a sign of belonging to a peer group.
These things are very important to a child moving into adolescence; are
they really important to you?
If
they're not, ignore them. There will be lots of battles to fight later
on, when your child morphs into a teenager, so choose the ones worth fighting
now. Compromise on small things; establish ways of negotiating about what
is allowed; you don't always have to be the winner. Do these things and
you will be in a strong position to influence your child on important
issues like school and health, during their teenage years.
I can't deal with it...
Sometimes a particular problem can really
irritate you to the extent that you can't deal with it rationally. Smoking
may be the one thing you cannot tolerate. Some dads get furious when their
little girl appears plastered with makeup. If you know you'll find it
hard to stay calm, try handing over to another person who may have a different
and more productive approach.
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