Parents often feel anxious and try to retain their control, believing their pre-teen is too young for the kinds of freedoms they want.

Conflicts of this type are most likely towards the upper end of this age range. Parents are often forced into more authoritarian measures to retain their control, while growing pre-teens get more frustrated at the restrictions on their freedom.

'It's my life...'
Parent's fears are justified. The world is full of dangers and temptations but, sooner or later, your child will have to deal with the world without parental help. Let go slowly. Freedoms are won over time, when you're confident that your pre-teen is sufficiently mature. This will be the sticking point, since she will undoubtedly think herself mature enough long before you do.

It helps if you are prepared to make some concessions. If everyone else is allowed to walk home from school unsupervised, then perhaps it's time to let your 11 year-old do it too. But it's unreasonable to allow her to come home alone after 10pm, no matter who else is allowed to.

• Parenting Pre-Teens: Where You Both Stand
• Parenting Pre-Teens: What's Wrong With Labels?
• Parenting Pre-Teens: New Message, Better Behaviour
• How To Undo Your Pre-Teen's Label