What Pre-Teens Want: Someone To Listen
The one skill a parent of a pre-teen needs above all others is the
ability to listen.
Parents should use their ears and mouth in proportion
- listen twice as much as you speak and try to understand the situation
from your teenager's point of view. This doesn't mean you will agree with
or accept everything your pre-teen says.
Listening
doesn't mean agreeing
You still have your own viewpoint, but by listening
you show a willingness to try to understand. 'Listen to me and I'll listen
to you' is a good rule to establish now, before adolescence kicks in.
Start small
Gradually, let your pre-teen make more
decisions for herself. If it's not an important decision and she seems
likely to make a choice you don't like, don't give unsolicited advice,
criticise, lecture or boss. You'll get credit for listening and accepting
your child's right to make up her own mind and this will stand you in
good stead when a really important decision is under discussion. The fact
that you listen to her will encourage her to listen to you and maybe she
will be influenced by what you have to say.
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