Once you've told them the news about a new brother or sister, pre-teens often take a while to get used to the idea of a baby around the house.

Give them time to come to grips with it. Don't expect them to share their feelings with you straight away.

Time to think
Children of this age need time to absorb the news and may shrug off any questions. Let them deal with their feelings alone for a while.

If it's a stepsibling, your child may even want to spend time with the other parent for a while. Don't feel rejected. It's important to let your pre-teen have time to think.

Answer their questions
Pre-teens often have questions about the changes a new baby will bring. Will they have to share a bedroom? Can you still take them swimming? Or to visit friends? Be as honest and direct as you can.

Don't anticipate problems
Once over the initial surprise, most children begin to look forward to the new arrival. Help your pre-teen feel part of the excitement and involve them with preparations. Look forward to the deep bond that often develops between pre-teen and younger siblings. The bigger age gap often means less sibling rivalry than between 'conventionally spaced' brothers and sisters.

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