Preparing Pre-Teens For A New Brother Or
Sister
New baby on the way? Pre-teens are old enough to know it's proof their
parents have had sex... Gross!
Although they considers themselves very grown-up,
pre-teens are still children underneath, worried you'll love them less
when the baby comes and anxious about the changes it brings.
Tell them before others do
Far better the news comes from you than
from someone else. Tell your child before the world knows. Remember to
let them know when you plan to tell other people so they can plan their
own announcements to friends accordingly.
Keep a sense of humour
A smile can make the telling easier and
keeps tension down. It also gives children a useful cover to hide their
own initial shock or embarrassment.
Understand your pre-teen's shock
Unless you're already a large family,
a new sibling is the last thing older children expect to have to deal
with. They'll probably be taken aback and may act tough, saying they doesn't
care. Part of them probably feels excited at the news, while another part's
anxious and concerned.
Time to think
Once you've told them the news about a new brother or sister, pre-teens often take a while to get used to the idea of a baby around the house. Give them time to come to grips with it. Don't expect them to share their feelings with you straight away.
If it's a stepsibling, your child may even want to spend time with the other parent for a while. Don't feel rejected. It's important to let your pre-teen have time to think.
Answer their questions
Pre-teens often have questions about the changes a new baby will bring. Will they have to share a bedroom? Can you still take them swimming? Or to visit friends? Be as honest and direct as you can.
Don't anticipate problems
Once over the initial surprise, most children begin to look forward to the new arrival. Help your pre-teen feel part of the excitement and involve them with preparations. Look forward to the deep bond that often develops between pre-teen and younger siblings. The bigger age gap often means less sibling rivalry than between 'conventionally spaced' brothers and sisters.
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