9-13 Yr-Olds: Helping Stepsiblings Get On
How can you encourage your pre-teens to get along with their stepsiblings?
Give
up any idea that they will become as close as 'real' brothers and sisters
and concentrate on findings ways of peaceful co-existence.
Accept
that children may not love their stepsiblings
You chose your partner. Your children did not choose your partner's kids!
If you've ever shared a house, remember how difficult flatmates can be?
And you usually have some say in choosing a flatmate.
Work
on getting them to live together in peace
Listen to both sides, not only your child's. You have understood what
is at the basis of their (probably mutual) dislike, so call a family meeting
to discuss the situation. The most important thing here is to ban all
name-calling, criticising and other negative behaviour. Insist that since
they live under the same roof, they must find a way of living together.
Get them to list the things that cause the most friction. Ask them to
choose the two or three that cause most arguments to find ways of resolving
the problem.
Present a united front
Despite your natural inclinations, you
and your partner must at all costs avoid getting drawn into the conflict.
Though you may act as impartial referees, the onus is on them to resolve
their differences.
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