Development 9-13 yrs: pre-teen know-all

He doesn't believe in Santa Claus any more and he doesn't believe in everything you say either. Your pre-teenager is starting to know his own mind and this can come as a shock to parents.

He doesn't believe in Santa Claus any more and he doesn't believe in anything you say either. Your pre-teenager is starting to know his own mind and this can come as a shock to parents.

Too clever for their own good?

To be fair, it's not really his fault. He's simply testing out his verbal fluency and abstract thought processes. It's a heady combination - and you happen to be the most convenient target for it.

I think, therefore I answer back

Given that his abstract thinking skills are still in the preliminary development stage, some of pronouncements may seem irritatingly silly and his sarcasm may fall flat. Try to be patient and supportive. Avoid the temptation to respond with similarly sarcastic 'put-downs' - self-esteem is shaky at this age.

Encourage debate

Help your child find more productive ways to exercise his skills by encouraging him to voice his opinions on current events or controversial topics. Engage him in discussions at the dinner table or in the car. Ongoing communication at this stage will stand you both in good stead as you move through the teenage years together.

Related articles:

• Development 9-13 yrs: thinking ahead
• Development 9-13 yrs: social life
• Development 9-13 yrs: new insecurities