Everything you need to know about the 'awkward age' - the years between nine and 13. Welcome to the pre-teens section index.

Find out about children's bank accounts, and learn a sneaky tip for maths success.

Plus, what do you say when they demand more pocket money?

Development 9-13 Yrs (MENU)
Child or adolescent? this is probably the most troubling age of all, both for kids and their parents! more...

Development 9-13 Yrs: Boys' Bodies
Your son may be slightly alarmed at swelling breast tissue and changes in the size and colour of the nipple area. more...

Development 9-13 Yrs: Girls' Bodies
Am I normal? Most pre-teenagers want reassurance when the dramatic changes of puberty kick in. more...

Development 9-13 Yrs: Pre-Teen Know-All
He doesn't believe in Santa Claus any more and he doesn't believe in everything you say either. More

Development 9-13 Yrs: Thinking Ahead
As she nears her teens, your child's physical self-sufficiency is joined by more independent thought. More

Development 9-13 Yrs: Social Life
Do you wanna be in my gang? Your child is becoming less concerned about your approval and turns instead to his friends. More

Development 9-13 Yrs: New Insecurities
It's a nerve-racking time for preteens as they compare their physical development with that of everybody else. More

9-13 Yrs: Your Pre-Teen's Diet (MENU)
Preteens are about to enter an important period of growth so it's important for them to eat properly. More

Faddy Eaters & Picky Preteens
Is your pre-teen a faddy eater? Picky eating can drive you mad but it's not necessarily harmful. More

9-13 Yrs: Emotional Issues (MENU)
'Just leave me alone!' 'Nobody understands!' 'I hate myself!' Do any of these sound familiar? more...

Has Your Preteen Become Less Confident?
Starting secondary school, academic pressure and a changing body can make this an unsettling time. More

9-13 Yr Olds: Practical Tips For Beating Insecurity
She'll gain more confidence from sorting out her own problems than from having you do it for her. But remember she's only 11. More

9-13 Yrs: Changes In The Family (MENU)
Sometimes preteens seem very grown-up and sometimes they act way below their years. More

Splitting Up: What's On Your Preteen's Mind?
Old enough to understand divorce but still too young to accept it, preteens may try hard to hide their fears and sadness. More

Talking About Separation With Your Preteen
It's difficult to bottle up the hurt and rejection you may feel against your partner but don't burden your son with it. More

Will Preteen Step-Siblings Get Along?
While a parent and new partner have steadily built up a bond, children from the two families have not fallen in love with each other. More

9-13 Yr-Olds: Helping Step-Siblings Get On
Give up any ideas of becoming as close as 'real' brothers and sisters and concentrate on findings ways of peaceful co-existence. More

Preparing Preteens For A New Brother Or Sister
New baby on the way? Preteens are old enough to know it's proof their parents have had sex... Gross! more...

Preteens: Coming To Terms With A New Baby
Once you've told them the news, preteens often take a while to get used to the idea of a baby around the house. More

9-13 Yrs: House Rules (MENU)
'If I tell him not to do something, he'll do it... if I ask him to do something he won't!' more...

When Your Preteen Doesn't Tell The Truth
By the age of 9, is your child old enough to be honest? How can you deal with tall tales and lying? more...

Put A Stop To Your Preteen's Bad Habits
Nose-picking, nail-biting, sniffing, chewing - nothing life-threatening but it's driving you round the bend. More

Teaching Your Preteen The Value Of Money
So your preteen wants all the latest trendy stuff? Designer clothes, trainers, mobiles - it costs a fortune! more...

9-13 Yrs: Why 'Want' Doesn't Mean 'Must-Have'
You can't always get what you want... but how can you and your preteen reach a reasonable compromise? more...

Are You Too Strict With Your Preteens?
Yesterday's obliging child is mutating into a teenager, so lay the foundations now before adolescence kicks in. more...

Preteens: Deciding Where To Set Boundaries
Establish fundamental expectations, limits and house rules now - you'll reap the benefits down the road! more...

Keeping Your Preteen Safe Online
As your child gets older, it's inevitable you can't be there supervise him every time uses the internet. More

Preteens: Reasons To Stop Smoking
Why would an under-13 want to take up the weed in the first place? Children know the risks but still they do it. More

Persuading Your Preteen NOT To Smoke
How can you talk your child out of becoming a long-term smoker? There's no perfect solution but here's a few suggestions. More

9-13 Yrs: How To Parent A Preteen (MENU)
Even though they act like they're 11-going-on-21, preteens are still children, and eager for your approval. More

Parenting Preteens: Where You Both Stand
Toddlers and teenagers are the traditional trouble-makers but adolescent attitudes are starting ever earlier. More

Parenting Preteens: Keeping Up The Good Work!
When preteens start thinking and choosing for themselves, that's when the arguments begin. More

What Preteens Want: Love & Support
Despite the bravado and the mantra 'It's my life', your child still needs your support and your unconditional love. More

What Preteens Want: Someone To Listen
The one skill a parent of a preteen needs above all others is the ability to listen. More

What Preteens Want: Freedom Within Limits!
Letting go is the most difficult thing a parent can do. Your instincts are to protect your child; he wants to go it alone. More

Parenting Preteens: Scared To Let Go?
Parents often feel anxious and try to retain their control, believing their preteen is too young for the kinds of freedoms they want. More

Parenting Preteens: Setting Priorities
As your child moves towards adolescence, decide what's important to you and be flexible on lesser things. More

Listening So Your Preteen Will Talk
It's easy to think that you've heard it all before, that you know what your child thinks - or should think. More

Parenting Preteens: Listening Is An Active Process
Listening is the one thing children wish their parents would do more of. Listening is not the same as hearing. More

Parenting Preteens: 3 Steps To Active Listening
By careful listening, you show respect for your pre-teen's feelings and give some space to explore the problem. More

Helping Preteens Solve Their Own Problems
'Active listening' is one of the most effective ways of helping your child develop problem solving skills. More

Talking To Preteens: Communication Foundations
If you ever feel you words float straight through your child's head, find out how to talk so your preteen will listen. More

Neutralising Common Preteen Flashpoints
Everyone has certain topics that set their teeth on edge, make their blood boil, and just, inevitably, wind them up. More

Give Your Preteen Praise That Works!
As our children grow older, we often try to help them do better by pointing out areas for improvement. More

Positive Praising For Preteens
Praising children by talking about what they ARE encourages them to look to other people to give them their sense of self worth. More

Mistaken Beliefs About Praising Your Preteen
Praise is a powerful tool and and encouraging reward in itself, but there are many mistaken beliefs about praise. More

Disagree With Your Preteen Without Falling Out
Unless you and your children are saints, at times you will lose your temper at each other and say things that you regret. More

Arguing With Preteens: What NOT To Say
Nobody can keep a cool head all the time but if you try and bear these points in mind, family arguments can be patched up sooner. More

Parenting Preteens: Fixing Damaged Relationships
What can you do when your relationship with your child seems to be going from bad to worse? more...

Parenting Preteens: What's Wrong With Labels?
'Keep on telling me what I am, and that's what I'll become' ...so be careful how you describe your children. More

Parenting Preteens: New Message, Better Behaviour
As one child told his father, 'Tell me often enough how bad I am, but don't be surprised if I get worse.' more...

How To Undo Your Preteen's Label
Not only can undoing a label bring about better behaviour, it's good for your child's confidence and self-image. More

9-13 Yrs: Ask Our Members (MENU)
The years between 'real' childhood and full-blown adolescence are strange, uncharted territory. More

9-13 Yrs: Sex & Relationships (MENU)
Just when your child was beginning to get to grips with life, her body starts changing in embarrassing ways. More

If A Preteen's Biology Is Ahead Of Her Mentality
If your daughter's starting her periods at primary school, how can you help her cope? more...

Periods At Primary School? Handling Early Puberty
Girls are reaching puberty earlier. The average age for girls to begin their periods is now 12 years and 10 months. More

9-13 Yrs: Your Preteen's Education (MENU)
Now your preteen travels to-and-from school alone, and barely manages to mutter 'alright' when you ask about their day at school. More

Onwards & Upwards: Starting Secondary School
Your child's growing up. Leaving primary school behind for the world of timetables and GCSE options is a big step. More

Preteens: Making Friends At Secondary School
The playground can be a lonely place, especially if you've moved to a new school and left old friends behind. More

Is Your Preteen Bullied At Secondary School?
What can you do if you think your child is being bullied? Smaller children are likely to tell, but often preteens won't readily admit it. More

Steps To Stop Preteens Being Victimised
Apart from love and support, how can you help a preteen who's being picked on at school? more...

Which Secondary School Would Suit Your Child?
Finding a secondary school for your child can feel daunting. Finding good sources of information can help. More

Resources To Help Choose A Secondary School
There are many excellent sources of information available to parents choosing a secondary school for 11 year-olds. More

9-13 Yrs: Brothers & Sisters (MENU)
It's not exactly sweetness and light... Help your preteen get on with their siblings, whether they're younger or older. More

9-13 Yrs: Why Do They Fight All The Time?
It's normal for siblings to fight over everything and anything. Identify the triggers and deal with them and enjoy a quieter life. More

9-13 Yrs: Beat The Bickering Between Siblings
It's unlikely that anyone will get hurt but they're not the only ones who get wound up by their constant needling and bickering. More

9-13 Yrs: Over-Competitive Brothers & Sisters
If one of your children is very jealous and competitive towards their sibling, can you assume they'll grow out of it? more...

9-13 Yrs: Does 'Fair' Have To Mean 'Equal'?
Are your children always saying 'it's not fair'? Whatever you do, it's never enough. What can you do? more...

9-13 Yrs: Stop Siblings Fighting Over 'Fair'
Children don't have to be treated identically. They're not the same and your treatment should reflect their different needs. More

9-13 Yrs: Comparing Siblings Doesn't Work
One of your children is easy-going and obliging but the other is so naughty he's driving you mad. What can you do? more...

Comparing Your Preteens: Positive Alternatives
If comparing is counter-productive, what should you do in its place? How can you help your child be 'less naughty' without comparing? more...

9-13 Yrs: Favouritism
Are you biased towards one of your children? Favouritism is one of the hardest things for a parent to admit, even to themselves. More

9-13 Yrs: Making Each Of Your Kids Feel Special
Equal love is not shown by equal treatment. Some parents go to extremes to show that they're not favouring one child. More

9-13 Yrs: High-Flying Sibling - Low Self-Esteem?
A clever child is the source of a great deal of parental pride, but be careful how you show it. More

9-13 Yrs: Sleeping Habits (MENU)
Are changing sleep patterns just part of growing up? Is it normal for a preteen to want company during the night? more...