Mistaken Beliefs About Praising Your Child
 Praise
is a powerful tool. It's better than toys, sweets or privileges as it
shows that you've noticed exactly what your child has done - and your
attention and approval is what your child craves.
But there are many wrong assumptions about praise.
Here are some of the most common.
'There's no need to say anything'
You may think that if everything is going
well there's no need to say anything. This attitude can be summed up as
If I don't say anything then it's okay. What this really means is I'll
only say something when there is something to criticise.
'If
I say 'well done', they'll stop trying'
Do you think that if you compliment your children they'll slack off? If
we are praised for a job well done, it generally encourages us to do better,
not worse. The disappointment we feel when good work is not recognised
gives rise to the feeling 'Why should I bother if nobody notices'?
'If
I praise one, the others will be jealous'
If you are honest and fair in your praise and recognise the special talents
of each child, they won't resent praise given to their siblings. Each
will feel valued for the unique individuals they are. Children who feel
good about themselves are usually generous in their praise of other people.
Never
use praise of one as a way of implicitly criticising another as, for example,
'You're always so cheerful', with its implied message unlike your moody
brother.
'What if there is nothing to praise?'
There is always something to praise.
You have to catch your child doing something right. Have a positive attitude
to the things he does and remember the praise must always be genuine.
Your child will quickly sense when you are phoney.
|
