Everyone has certain topics that set their teeth on edge, make their blood boil, and just, inevitably, wind them up.

These topics are prime triggers for arguments. But if you can see them coming, how can you stop them?

I can't stand it...
The list of things parents can't stand is very long. It includes cheekiness, language, attitude, schoolwork and a lot more. These things are very important to a child moving into adolescence; are they really important to you? If they're not, ignore them.

It might be important to you that your child avoids unpleasant language at home, but is it really important that they wear slippers rather than socks around the house?

Build foundations
There will be lots of battles to fight later on, when your child morphs into a teenager, so choose the ones worth fighting now. Compromise on small things; establish ways of negotiating about what is allowed; you don't always have to be the winner. Do these things and you will be in a strong position to influence your child on important issues like school and health, during their pre-teen and teenage years.

I can't deal with it...
Sometimes a particular problem can really irritate you to the extent that you can't deal with it rationally. Parents who value academic achievement highly may get upset when their child takes a 'couldn't-care-less' attitude with their schoolwork, or overt cheekiness may be your own personal bugbear. If you know you'll find it hard to stay calm, try handing over to another person - maybe a grandparent - who may have a different and more productive approach.