If you ever feel you words float straight through your child's head, find out how to talk so your child will listen.

Frustrated because your child doesn't take any notice of what you say? Is it like talking to a brick wall? Are these scenarios familiar?

I keep telling her...
'I don't know how to make my daughter concentrate on her homework! I keep telling her to make an effort but she won't listen!'

'Telling her' isn't working. Your message isn't getting through. Stop focusing on her behaviour. Consider your own. Rather than 'telling' - try to do more listening. Try to understand why she behaves as she does. There may be a perfectly good reason - perhaps she is confused or doesn't understand the teacher's instructions - and a sympathetic ear is all that is needed. If you listen to her, perhaps she will listen to you. Then you may be able to find a solution you can both accept.

I can't get him to see...
'My son is so worried about his SATs. There is nothing to be concerned about but I can't get him to see that.'

A psychologist would say that if your reassurances do not reassure, then perhaps there is something else underlying the anxiety. Stop soothing. Try to listen and understand what his underlying concerns are.

• 4-9 Yrs: Parenting Skills - Positive Praising
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• 4-9 Yrs: New Message, Better Behaviour
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