What Your Child Wants: Freedom Within Limits!
Letting go is the most difficult thing a parent can do. Your instincts
are to protect your child but as he grows up, sometimes he wants to go
it alone.
When your child learns to ride a bicycle, the
time comes to let go of the saddle, even though you fear your child might
fall off and hurt himself. Start now with basics, and later on the bigger
steps will be easier for both of you.
Security first
If you child feels insecure, he'll be
reluctant to try new challenges. Children are very sensitive to stress
at home so try not to argue in front of them. If there is conflict between
you and your partner, make sure that each of you has time for your family.
Anxieties about work, health or family problems will unsettle children
so don't share these anxieties.
At the same time, make sure they don't get a
half-baked version of what's going on. Overheard conversations can upset
little ones who may misunderstand or exaggerate their significance. If
there are major changes ahead, let them know as soon as you can.
Don't anticipate bad things
If potentially unsettling situations
are looming, try to prepare your child but don't raise fears he may otherwise
not have thought about. If you tell him 'There's absolutely no reason
to be frightened of going on the school trip' - your child will begin
wondering what kind of frightening things might be lurking there.
Children dislike change
If your child shows resistance to change,
don't try to tease him out of his fears or deny them. Children differ.
Some children seem fearless in new situations and others will take time
to adjust. If your child holds back in new situations, don't force him.
Letting go
With bigger
issues, you have to let go and take the risk that your child will make
a mistake. Experience is the best teacher. All of us learn from the consequences
of our decisions. Without this learning, your child won't be prepared
to take the challenges of growing up in his stride.
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