The one skill a parent needs above all others is the ability to listen.

Parents should use their ears and mouth in proportion - listen twice as much as you speak and try to understand the situation from your child's point of view. This doesn't mean you will agree with or accept everything your child says.

You still have your own viewpoint, but by listening you show a willingness to try to understand. 'Listen to me and I'll listen to you' is a good rule to establish now, well before adolescence kicks in.

Start small
Gradually, let your child make more decisions for herself. If it's not an important decision and she seems likely to make a choice you don't like, don't give unsolicited advice, criticise, lecture or boss. You'll get credit for listening and accepting your child's right to make up her own mind and this will stand you in good stead when a really important decision is under discussion. The fact that you listen to her will encourage her to listen to you and maybe she will be influenced by what you have to say.

• 4-9 Yrs: Parenting Skills - Positive Praising
• Mistaken Beliefs About Praising Your Child
• Disagree With Your Child Without Falling Out
• Arguing With Children: What NOT To Say