Parenting Skills: Where You Both Stand
 As
your child grows up, your relationship changes. Children are becoming
fashion-conscious, more streetwise, and want to be treated more like grownups much sooner than you expect!
But you still need to provide support, security,
and - most importantly - love and listening.
Stay in touch
All the way through primary school, you
know about your child's life. You primary-school child will listened wide-eyed
to what you say, and usually believe it. You can make the decisions about
his life and if you insist that something be done, it got done. You knew
what was best for your child and he will usually accept it. You're in
a great position to set down firm foundations.
Strong foundations
You still have considerable influence
over your child. Remember, underneath it all he is still young, inexperienced
and in need of guidance and protection. Establish fundamental expectations,
limits and house rules now - you'll reap the benefits down the road! But
as they move towards the upper end of this age range, children begin wanting
more freedom. It's hard, but try not to
be too upset by these important first steps towards independence.
Where it's going
Good parents work themselves out of a
job. They take a baby who is totally dependent and turn him into a competent
adult who can manage his own life. This process involves stepping back
as the growing child takes on more and more control of his own life. Don't
be persuaded to let your son or daughter have more freedom than they can
cope with. Let your child know you believe in his good judgment, encourage
him to stand by his values and code of conduct and discuss the challenges
of peer pressure. Make sure your child knows you'll always be there for
him.
Make your own mistakes (sometimes)
If you want to bring up your child to think for herself and to show initiative, at some point she may think and do things you don't like. She's entitled to her views and as long as she isn't doing anything harmful to herself or others, she should be allowed to make her own decisions.
If you are respectful of her right to make (small) decisions for herself, she may continue to seek your advice through adolescence and beyond. If you go on lecturing, criticising and bossing, then she will increasingly turn to her friends as time goes on.
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