The baby isn't even here yet and your toddler's making it clear they don't want a brother or sister!

Imagine your partner came home and announced a new lover would be moving in next week. How would you feel? Don't expect your toddler to love the baby just because you do - but don't assume the worst either.

What's behind it?
Don't assume that this is the beginning of sibling rivalry, it may be something more mundane. Depending on their age, it's unlikely that your toddler has really understood what a new baby will mean, in terms of your time and affection. Toddlers may worry about you giving their toys to the new baby or having to go to stay with a relative for a while.

Talk to your toddler
The most important thing is to listen to your toddler. If they are very small, they'll have trouble talking about their worries. Don't ask, 'Why don't you want a new baby?' - your child won't have an answer. If you know a family that has a small baby, take your toddler to visit them. Afterwards, talk about the baby. Your toddler's questions may reveal their worries. For example, 'Where does he sleep?' may mean they're worried about having to give up their bedroom.

Buy a book about having a baby brother or sister that you can read together. Deal with any questions, stressing how much things will stay the same after the baby's birth. Don't put ideas into your toddler's head,that may not have been there before, like 'Mummy and Daddy will still love you when the new baby is born.'

Don't deny your toddler's feelings
If your toddler doesn't want a baby brother or sister, don't get upset because they don't share your feelings of joy.

If your child has a negative attitude, prepare them well for the birth of the baby. Let them feel the baby moving, help you prepare a room and buy small things for the new baby. As you do these things, tell your toddler about all the things you did for their birth and about how you felt. Be sure to explain about going in to hospital and be very clear about who will be taking care of them.

• New Baby On The Way? Telling Your Toddler
• Toddler & New Baby? Don't Go Changing!
• New Baby? What About The Age Gap?l
• Brothers & Sisters: More Information In Our Siblings Section