Give
Your Toddler Praise That Works!
Praise is one of the most powerful tools parents have. It's a far better
encouragement than sweets or treats - and doesn't cost a penny.
Used properly, praise is a brilliant way of reinforcing
good behaviour and your toddler will soon come to see it as a reward in
itself. However, there's a tendency, especially
when praising the efforts of young children, to praise indiscriminately.
If you praise everything, then praise loses its value.
It's
not what you do, it's the way that you do it...
How often have we said 'That's nice'
without really looking? Even toddlers can sense that you are praising
on autopilot.
...that's
what gets results!
The problem here is not the praise but the way that it's given. In the
words of the old song, 'It ain't what you do, it's the way that you do
it.' There are a few recognised guidelines for giving praise. None is
difficult to follow, though they may seem a bit contrived at first.
Avoid
the 'buts' - don't let criticism swamp the praise
As toddlers grow, we often try to help
them do better by pointing out areas for improvement. Be careful, when
you do this, to keep the balance between the positive and negative aspects
of what you say.
For example...
When Michael came downstairs saying that he had
dressed himself for nursery school, his mother took one look at him and
burst out laughing.
'You're a good boy to dress yourself BUT you've
put your shoes on the wrong feet and that jumper is inside out!'
Then she helped him put his shoes on properly
and changed his jumper. Next day Michael waited for his mother to come
and help him get dressed
Look for the 'rights' - not for the 'wrongs'
Michael did far more right than wrong but the
two wrong things he did got more attention that all the things he did
right. In dressing himself, Michael showed initiative and perseverance
in a number of tasks that are difficult for a small boy. All these good
things were bundled up in the phrase 'You're a good boy to dress yourself'.
This is a case where 'good' is not good enough.
The comments from Michael's mother that followed, which she then acted
upon, were about what Michael had done wrong. Small wonder that next day
he waited for his mother to do it right!
|
