Why do toddlers get upset whenever you leave them, even if it's just for a short while?

Your toddler's biggest fear is of losing you. That's why they cling round your leg like a limpet!

Fear of separation starts early
Most babies form their closest bond with their mother, as she looks after them the most. Their attachment is greatest between 12-18 months and then toddlers become increasingly independent and self-assertive.

How to make separation easier
If you can afford to, delay returning to work. If you can't, make sure the childcare arrangements you have made give your child the maximum security. A nervous child, for example, may be happier on home ground. This is a very difficult time for most mothers and you will feel much better yourself knowing that your child is secure.

Gently does it...
Let your child get used to the nanny, childminder or nursery before you return to work. Stay with the carer and your toddler for a few days. Watch them together. If you are there, your toddler will accept the carer more quickly and you will be able to reassure yourself that your child is in good hands.

The same is true with babysitters. Get children used to the idea of you leaving by popping out for short periods. You will need to spend time reassuring them when you get home. This is not the time to introduce a rigid sleep regime or change your routine.

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