Timid Toddlers? Encouraging Them To Socialise
For a toddler, socialising can be intimidating. But there are many ways to build their confidence and encourage them to make friends.
Avoid Labels
Don't say to other people that your child is shy or your toddler will
assume 'that's that', accept it and even hide behind the label. Avoid making excuses - be positive and say encouraging
things about your child to other people. If someone comments on your toddler's
shyness, change the subject. Tell relatives, teachers and carers to avoid
talking about the shyness and to help build your child's self-esteem instead.
Build Their Confidence
Forcing shy toddlers to be social, or teasing them about it, will damage their self-esteem. Instead, make them feel good about themselves and give them as much love and attention as you can. Shy children often feel uncomfortable about the way they look so make them feel attractive and likeable. The more secure toddlers feel, the more social they will be.
Start With 'Hello'
Start small with shy toddlers. Be gentle,
and pick them up so they can make eye-contact. Look at them when you ask
themto say 'hello' to strangers. Remember that toddlers have short memories
and familiar faces to you might be strangers as far as they are concerned.
Praise them if they says 'hello' but don't get cross if they won't.
Encourage toddlers to talk by listening
Some children don't talk very much because they don't think what they have to say is important. You can't blame them if adults keep ignoring them. When your child DOES talk to you, give your full attention.
When shy children open up - even if you're busy with something else - don't be dismissive and try not to make them feel like they are interrupting. Ask questions and engage fully in the conversation. As children get older, talk through difficult situations more, especially when they starts at nursery or day care. Don't make out that shyness is a major problem.
A
Life Outside The Home
Choose a small playgroup for your child to visit or, preferably, an organised
activity group. Something specific to do, like playing a musical instrument,
often helps shy children feel less nervous. Assume your toddler will participate
and stay positive. Don't let their apprehensiveness persuade you to change
your mind as the start date gets nearer.
Arrange
for your child to play with other children in small groups. Invite younger
children to play so your toddler can take the lead - feeling 'grown up'
in front of younger children is very encouraging.
Seeking Professional Help
Some children who refuse to speak in public suffer
from a problem known as 'selective mutism'. You know your child best,
so go with your instincts. It's not common, but it's an anxiety disorder
that is easily treated, so if your child absolutely refuses to speak to
strangers seek professional advice.
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