Development 18-24 mths: the terrible twos

You may notice that the 'Terrible Twos' start a little before your child's 2nd birthday.

Your toddler is becoming increasingly negative and seems to object to everything you ask. The slightest upset can send her into a tantrum. Much of this behaviour is reserved for you as a primary caregiver. However, siblings or other children may feel the brunt of her anger if they touch her possessions or otherwise annoy her.

Try to stay calm and patient with your toddler. Gently but firmly remove her from the situation and channel her attention elsewhere.

The dependence/independence battle

For 18 months she was totally devoted to you and followed you everywhere. Suddenly she wants to stand on her own two feet and assert her independence. She continually tests your limits and has temper tantrums when crossed. For all her willfulness, if you speak to her sternly, she may burst into tears.

Try to keep a sense of humour. Give yourself a pat on the back as she says 'No!' for the umpteenth time - at least you're not raising a 'yes' person! Try to take pride in her emerging assertiveness and find ways to praise her independence.

Developing social skills

She is learning to gain and hold an adult's attention through social interaction. She asks questions and will happily chat away when a familiar adult responds in conversation. You may notice that she's becoming more friendly with visitors. She may even take her toys over to a chosen adult and try to take their attention away from the group.

'It's mine!'

She plays beside other young children, but doesn't as yet play with them. She has only recently learnt the concept of 'owning' toys and isn't old enough to share them. Nor is she always happy to share attention.

This can lead to some challenges, if a new baby enters the home. Her initial reaction is unlikely to be positive. However, with sensible preparation and consistent love and attention, she will soon adjust. She will come to accept, that although she may not find the baby entirely desirable, it is a permanent fixture.

Related articles:

• Tantrums & how to avoid them
• Tantrum taming tips
• Talk about toddlers in our discussions!