Buggy Blogger mum to J (4), B (2) and S (9 months) laments the passing of tactless toddlerdom and declares war on anti-spill clever cups.

Secrecy has never been my 4-year-old's strong point. Up until now, he's been about as mysterious as a potato. From sharing news of his latest bowel movement in full detail to proclaiming his sore willy for all to hear, he's never been shy to share all.

And I can't count the times I've had to groan inwardly to myself in public when he's decided his opinion is worth broadcasting. There was the time the middle-aged jogger ambled past us in very short shorts. And that guy with the trendy afro that was soon given short shrift. Or the Muslim lady who was dressed up as a ghost, so he thought, just after Halloween. If there was a contentious opinion to share, he'd voice it. Loudly.

But now that he’s a schoolboy, however, J's suddenly become an enigma. We’ve skipped from "let me tell you all my most intimate details, shall we talk about my poo?" straight to being a prematurely monosyllabic teenager.

Me: What did you do at school today J?
J: Dunno
Me: Who did you play with?
J: Can’t remember
Me: Well, what did you have for lunch then
J: Dunno…

Yes, lunch. I have little idea what he's eating for school dinners or indeed if he likes or dislikes them. However, with a bit of gentle interrogation, I’ve managed to glean the following:
- the orange sauce liberally smeared around his mouth one day had apparently been 'scaghetti'
- chips have made a big impression – ie 'no chips today' = bad news (sorry Jamie)
- when pressed on his pudding choice he does keep saying he's opting for fruit INSTEAD of custardy pudding which is either scarily goody-two-shoes or a blatant lie.

Meanwhile, I’ve been trying to get S to drink from a cup. I say drink in the loosest possible sense … actually he's dribbling from a spout while I mop up milk from the carpet. Can’t blame him though as the old faithful Tommee Tippees with their chewed spouts and slight discolouration are as appealing as a wet weekend in Bognor.

Resolved to splash out on some new ones in effort to … errr … reduce the splashes. But could I find any good ol' reliable flip and sip beakers? Nope, there were only … horrors … those dreadful anti-spill training cups. Though it's true the contents won't immediately be tipped onto the carpet, my experience of trying them has always been somewhat frustrating.

Picture this: baby starving for milk (notwithstanding square meal greedily guzzled not two hours since). Will obviously expire if stomach not filled NOW. Baby given brand-spanking non-spill invention full of the warm white stuff. Baby tries and fails to turbo-suck milk from the said beaker. Baby goes into meltdown shortly before mother attacks spout with a knife in order to kill the clever vacuum effect. Milk all over the carpet anyway. Baby slurps milk contentedly from v. leaky knife-victim beaker while mother reaches for stiff drink of her own. From a normal cup … erm, glass … since you ask.

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