Regression after the arrival of a new brother or sister is very common with toddlers.

But having to cope with bed-wetting, crying, whining and tantrums all over again, especially with a new baby to look after, is exhausting. How can you help your toddler come through this phase as quickly as possible?

Accept it... for a while
Let your toddler regress into babyish behaviour, but give lots of praise - and attention - for being 'grown-up'.

Your child sees the new baby's infantile behaviour drawing concern and attention from adults, and imagines that this is the baby's 'reward' for crying all night, wetting himself etc. Encourage your toddler to take pride in being able to do lots of things that the baby can't do.

'Bigger' doesn't mean 'better'
Don't urge toddlers to be a 'big girl' or boy. They don't want to be 'big', they want to be the limelight-stealing baby. If you criticise babyish behaviour harshly, your toddler may feel that any lapses or backsliding will make them less unlovable.

Support 'grown up' behaviour
The trick to encouraging toddlers to leave babyish behaviour behind is to give them pride in their status as a capable, growing child. Accept babyish ways but strongly reinforce more mature behaviour when it occurs.

Don't compare with the baby
Beware of negative comparisons with the baby. Don't try to build the confidence of the older child by diminishing the younger one. It's not necessary and sets a bad precedent.

Don't say: 'Well done. You sat at the table and ate very nicely and the baby can't even sit up yet.'

Do say: 'You've got very good table manners and I'm especially impressed by the way you've learned to use a fork.'

Praise your toddler without referring to the baby at all.

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