Social Isolation: When A Teen Has No Friends
 Isolation
can be devastating for a teen and warrants attention. Peer group and friendships
are vital at this age and a child who seems to have no friends can be
acutely unhappy.
Remember that your child's social needs may be
different from your own. Your teen may be more of a loner, and be happy
with fewer friends.
Girls, in particular, often go through a phase
when they form an intense friendship with one 'best friend'. This choice
is different from true unpopularity.
Make it easy for her to talk to you
Forcing the issue will make your teen
clam up. Make it easy for her to introduce the subject herself - ask what
she thinks of a TV programme or magazine article on a related topic. Share
a humorous story about a social challenge from your own teen years. Be
aware that your teen may use the same tactic herself. Look for signals
that she wants to talk and be ready to respond.
Keep anxiety levels down
Avoid imposing your own anxiety on the
situation. Acknowledge the hurt your teen may be feeling but stress that
she is neither alone nor abnormal - many teens face the same challenge.
Reassure her that though she is going through a difficult phase, it will
pass. Meanwhile, there are steps she can take to help improve the situation.
Help to problem-solve
Teens want support, but hate parental
interference. Try to play the role of an objective outside counsellor,
sharing information and helping your teen to generate ideas. Let her take
ownership of solutions. Clubs or part-time jobs are tried and true plans,
or your teen might prefer volunteer work, which offers social opportunities
and can raise self-esteem. Drama or public speaking can build confidence.
Give positive feedback
Unpopularity can lower a teen's self-esteem
which, in turn, makes a difficult situation worse. Go out of your way
to give positive reinforcement and build your teen's confidence.
Watch for signs of depression
Be aware that the problem may be more
than just 'shyness' or 'being at an awkward age'. Keep a careful watch
on her mood and be ready to seek professional intervention if serious
depression occurs. Signs may include withdrawal, declining school performance,
mood swings, sadness and sleep changes.
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